


Searching for simon d's soul

by UntilWeBleed



Category: AOMG, Big Bang (Band), Block B, Khiphop, Winner (Band)
Genre: i hate this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-21 00:03:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12444921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UntilWeBleed/pseuds/UntilWeBleed
Summary: i made this months ago and i hate it but Billy boy, you deserve this





	Searching for simon d's soul

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Billy Boy](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Billy+Boy).



> this the sequel to searching for simon d but honestly, it's not the sequel the world deserves
> 
> but it's all its getting cuz I'm lazy

It was a quiet day in Seoul.

The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Mr WorldWide 2.0, Jay Park, was walking along the Han River whilst thinking about  
his dope cameo in charlie XCX’s music video about thirsting for boys. 

It was at this moment, when he was deep in his own self lovin, that his phone went off, blasting his own obnoxious rap in the SMTM6 cypher.

”Eyo wassup” he greeted.

”Jay baby, no homo, we have a problem!” It was Gray, his long time on again off again lover, no homo, who had called.

”Whass the problem?” Jay asked, still feeling lazy and undisturbed in the hot summer weather.

As Gray spoke, Jay felt the colour drain from his beautiful visage.

Jay dropped his phone in shock. He stared dumbfoundead at the river, at the people walking by him, blissfully ignorant of the disaster that was about to unfold. 

”Jay? Jay!” A weak voice could be heard from the phone lying on the ground. But Jay didn’t pick it up. He had a mission. 

With purpose to his strides, he walked outta there faster than he finishes during sex. After 17 seconds he was back in his car, driving full speed towards the office. 

 

A loud bang could be heard coming from the door of the obnoxious apartment. 

It belonged to Zico of Block B, koreas most obnoxious and pretentious rapper. Not counting G-Dragon tho. 

Zico dragged his pale, designer clad body across the apartment, complaining about the noise in a creative, baritone rap. His inspiration came from everywhere, duh. 

As he opened the door, he was hit with a sense of déjà vu, as Jay Park crashed into him with his heavily tattooed body. 

“Z-I-CO!” It seemed the girly voice was also back in full swing.

“What it is babe, no homo obvi” Zico asked, more like lazy lisped. 

Jay slapped him hard across the face, making his cheek bloom a pretty pink. 

“This is not the time for gay jokes Jiho. We have a bigger problem than ur denying ur sexuality, no homo.”

Zico grumbled, obviously not happy with being questioned like that. Had Jay not seen his music video for Tough Cookie? He was a hard baller. 

Jay took Zico’s hand and led him into the living room, which still btw was full of useless designer bullshit. 

He sat them both down and made sure to take a deep breath before speaking, making his girlie voice calm the fuck down for a second.

“I feared this day would come. Ever since Simon D dissapeard and fucked Beenzino’s girl, I knew something weird was up. And now, it has finally reached its peak of awful.” Jay was being serious as he spoke, his gorgeous eyes fixed on Zico.

Zico waited for the ball to drop anxiously, scared of what could possibly make Jay so frazzled. 

“He fuckin bleached his hair.”

Zico was out cold, his lyrical genius head smashing right into his favourite kawaii bearbrick. 

 

 

When Zico came to, he blinked his eyes open to take in an infinite set of eyes staring back at him. 

“I panicked when ur pussy ass blacked out so I called the crew.” Jay pointed to the others as he spoke.

Zico was fucking pissed already cause why did Jay think it was ok to invite so many dirty rappers to his beautifully decorated designer heaven?

“Eyo, hola hola, amugeotdo bogi silheosseul ttae! Fear man, wassup man, heyo!”

“MINO SHUT UP! GOD!” Jay was losing his shit. Mino was being an annoying douchebag.

“I thought you were dead” 

“Thanks Gray” Zico wanted to die.

“Ok guys the important thing here is to figure out what the fuck to do with Simon Dominic.” Jay needed everyone to focus on the problem at hand, not Zico’s dumb pussy ass fainting spells.

“What’s the problem tho?” Park Kyung asked, even tho no one knew why he was there. That went for the rest of Block B too.

“Simon D bleached his god damn hair and ran away to Thailand”  
A collective gasp could be heard coming from the mouths of everyone in the room, except for Mino, cuz he was too busy touching his buzzcut. 

“Whats wrong with bleaching your hair tho?” Loco asked, feeling self conscious cuz what if everyone thought he looked dumb with his bleached hair and nobody told him? 

“Nothing’s wrong with bleached hair, Loco baby, no homo.” Jay explained, to calm the AOMG baby with abs. It’s just that everybody knows Simon D’s already a huge asshole sleazebag, but now, he’s a bleached asshole sleazecanoe.”

“Ya that’s kinky” came from SanE, who was also there for some reason. 

“Shut up fuckhead” Jay was triggered.

“This is literally the worst thing that coulda ever happened to khiphop” Zico said, wanting to get everyone back on track. 

“We need to track down that asshole and make him realize the damage his sleazyness is causing the world.” As Jay said this, the room slowly started nodding in agreement. After all, if they couldn’t stop Simon, who could?

It was a shitty spectacle that met the people of Seoul that morning. A helpless herd of wannabe hard baller rappers standing along the curb, awaiting directions from their sheep herder, Jay Parky Park. 

“I’m cold dude” Zico whined. 

“Shut up you fucking pussy” Beenzino aggressively man-yelled. 

“Guyss, we are on a mission here. We need to get to Thailand asap. Who here got the most dolla dolla?” 

“DONKEY DOK2 BOY!!” came from everyone in perfect unison.

“fuck” came from dok2.

 

 

Ten hours and a whole lot of money later, the huge rapper gang were in Bangkok, looking their swaggiest in linen shirts and cold chainz. 

“I still cant believe I paid for that dude. How will I feed my dogs?” Dok2 was upsetty.

“Like you ever do that” loco whispered under his beautiful breath.

“Eyo man where we gon start looking eh?” Mino was thrilled to be with all his fave rappers, but also triggered cuz Thailand was warm and he was uncomf.

“Shut up lil bitch” Jay had a plan. He knew what he was doing. 

“Why the fuck is Winner here?” 

“Why the fuck is Block B here is the better question you glazeless cheesecake”

U-Kwon and Seungyoon were in a heated chest to chest battle. Chaos was breaking out quikly. Jay knew he needed to act. 

“Ok yall lets split up and go look for the bleached nutsack. Zico, you and me can go look in the whore district. The rest of you, get lost”

People were confused. Whatever, he thought. 

“Uuhhh guys” loco was tryna raise his voice but his shyness was holding him bacl.

He tried again, with more vigor.

“guyysss”

“Yeah loco baby, whattup?” Jay was impatient. 

“check ur instagram live feed”

“motherfuCKER”

Simon d was live. Streaming from Korea. Seoul. 

“that sHIT” 

Beenzino was the one noticing the last final crucial detail. He wasn’t just in any part of Seoul. He was in his house. His bedroom. With his slutty german girl. 

“oh my god” this time it was cha cha malone who was speaking up. He was getting some intense flashbacks. 

“why god why” even g-dragon, who was there btw in case you didn’t know, was voicing his concern. 

“daddy help” mino ran to his dad, g-draggy.

Beenzino was long gone. He had transformed yet again. His wings were unleashed. He was flying off to Korea to dye the hair of the man who was fucking his girl.

“Well” Gray was speaking up now. “since we’re here, we might as well enjoy ourselves, no homo” 

“good thinking emo boy, lets go get shitfaced and have an orgy” jay was back on track.

“I call dips on the twink from block b” cha cha was horny.

Zico was scared.


End file.
